This past Thursday, Rambam Mesivta hosted Shalom Task Force's Julie Feinberg for a meaningful Purple Day presentation on healthy and unhealthy relationships, as well as the importance of knowing when and how to seek support.
She began by explaining the spectrum of relationships and how to recognize early red flags, such as constant criticism, lack of support, and feeling like you are "walking on eggshells. " She also noted that there are often multiple perspectives in any situation, but that does not mean harmful behavior should be ignored.
Arms. Feinberg introduced the acronym T. R. U. S. T., which stands for trust your gut, tune in, reflect, understand your needs, stay curious, and take action. The message emphasized staying aware of one's emotions, recognizing patterns, and not brushing issues aside.
The presentation then shifted to a more serious question: when does a relationship become abusive? Arms. Feinberg explained that a major warning sign is when a person's home, which should be a safe haven, begins to feel unsafe. She shared how people sometimes minimize situations before they escalate, and stressed the importance of recognizing warning signs early. She defined domestic abuse as a pattern of behavior used by one partner to gain power and control over another, and explained that it can take many forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, financial, psychological, digital, and social isolation. She also emphasized that no community is immune and that awareness and education are critical.
Arms. Feinberg then compared healthy and unhealthy relationships. In a healthy relationship, individuals can be open, respectful, and self-assured, and are able to communicate and work through conflict. In contrast, unhealthy relationships often involve fear, pressure, or constant criticism. She outlined steps for resolving conflict in a healthy way, including identifying the issue, clearly expressing needs using "I" statements, asking open-ended questions, and being willing to listen and reflect.
Finally, the presentation addressed what it means to be a supportive friend. A supportive friend listens, asks how they can help, encourages seeking additional support, and knows how to set appropriate boundaries. The overall message was clear: it is normal to need guidance, and there are always resources available to help.
If you or someone you know may need support, Shalom Task Force offers a free hotline at 888-883-2323, along with additional resources at shalomtaskforce. borg.